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NURSERY MYTHS

by THE BLACK AND WHITE YEARS

/
1.
let’s work it out. cultural heartbeat – let’s keep it ticking. the future is uncertain, so let us work it out. requisite gut-check. nothing is impossible. the future is not clawless, so let us work it out. and keep the life debt. let’s keep it going. we’ll isolate the beauty gene. I propose a toast to modern scientists. I put my faith in the brighter brains of modern science.modern scientists, you are the glorious sons of Cain. let’s work it out. cultural heartbeat – let’s keep ticking. the future is not pretty. most like to leave you choked. your little heartbeat, I promise you won’t miss it. the future is not perfect. most like to leave you there. with just your life debt. always, always waiting. we’ll isolate the beauty gene. I propose a toast to modern scientists. I put my faith in the brighter brains of modern science. I put my faith in your capable hands. modern scientists, you are the glorious sons of Cain. I put my faith in your brighter brain. I believe in the ghost stories that you told me. another day, another dose of the main frame – another seam in the tapestry. I put my life in the arms of space, I believe in the myths that nursed me. I put my faith in the hard of heart, I’m sure that it’s necessary. surely, all of this is so profound and it’s nice to talk about. but I hope you can work it all out. I hope you work it all out. I hope you work it out. we’ll need that heartbeat. let’s keep it ticking. I hope we work it out and keep the heartbeat going.
2.
RAISED IN BOOKS i am so suspicious. i admit it, i'm ill fitted honestly i live like my life's a Swedish film. and i've been writing and then forgetting all that i've written, by little bits. i shake my wits and start out again. this is my story. i fear the future, but i like the extra time. i curse the years, but i like to have a story to start from. i was born in this red state to a pair of white, socialite, middle-class working folks. i was raised in books, raised in films, raised in church. i was brought up with the fear of God, the ever-there fear of hell. that punishment was terrible i was terrified I'd die, they said i'd burn alive. they said i'd burn alive if i did not do right. they said i'd burn alive. and now i'm superstitious. i feel bitten by words i've written. honestly, i am waiting for something to come. and i've been ticking down the minutes until it's ended. tactically dodging your ill will. i fear the future, but i'd like some extra time. i curse the years, but i like to have a platform to stand on. i was born in these cruel states with a history of misery tied to me. my family tree killed and took, killed and took, killed and took. and it was all in the name of God. the manifest destiny. what God was it we aimed to please? the one who had you terrified, who said he'd burn you alive. he said we'd burn alive. if we did not choose right. we would burn alive. i lost my fear of hell, i lost my fear of hell, i lost my fear of life, as well.
3.
steady as it goes. be you like an obelisk. have no fear of politics. your religion is all business. steady as it grows. be it like a pestilence. have no fear of influence. your religion's altruistic. God speed, God, there is a world in the balance. God have mercy, we are the snake in the tree playing out the same old story. steady as it goes. you can have it just like you want it. have no fear of anything, your religion or upbringing. steadily it grows. use it 'till you've used it all up. have no fear of dying, your religion has a system. God speed, God, there is a world in the balance. God have mercy, we are the slaves of the past, trickling out that same old hourglass.
4.
o, what an odd bedfellow - the lousy breath of imminent whiskey death in my pillow wakes me up from the cruel sleep show. my attempts weren't glimpsed and only garnered the attention of the sparrows. o, i thought your beauty was ugly. i concluded that it wasn't pretty. not to me. o, i thought your beauty was ugly. you were hoping to make something to outweigh suffering. you were trying to fake something like in the movies. now i'm trying to make something worth remembering. o, let us unite our shadows we'll throaty-caw like some amateur opera in the streets below your old flat - your crowded studio. my attempts were thin and only proffered the illusion i was so-so. o, i thought your beauty was empty. i concluded that you aren't sexy. not to me. o, i thought your beauty was ugly. now i'm hoping to find something to outweigh suffering. now i'm hoping to find something like what i've been reading. now i'm hoping to make something worth remembering. my little dirty thing. pariah keeps on smiling. lipstick on swollen lips. pariah, how are you smiling? o, i think your beauty is ugly. yes. i've concluded that you aren't sexy. not exactly. o, i think your beauty is empty. you're just trying to find something to outweigh suffering.
5.
we met too soon, didn't we? we were too young to be lovers. but heedless hearts abandon information inconvenient to the act of love. we met too soon. didn't we? we were too young to be lovers. two headlong hearts delight in dividing each into the other, it is the cost of love. all we ever wanted was to feel that strength in numbers. together, life made sense. we were too young. weren't we? i would say "thanks for the memories," but when i take to drinking, i'm thinking only of our future, and the act of love. we were so young, weren't we? both of us hungry for culture. two artful hearts upending the reservoirs within each other, the art of love. all we ever wanted was to feel that wanted. together, life made sense.

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Recorded by Erik Wofford at Cacophony Recorders in Austin, Tx.

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released September 19, 2009

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THE BLACK AND WHITE YEARS Austin, Texas

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