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1. |
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I'm claustrophobic all the time
These visions in my head, bro
It's an Orwellian sock puppet show
It's like, "Who's this lunatic wearing my eyes?
Okay, I like the things he says, but
The beard though, the beard's ridiculous"
I've been flipping through the inky little flipbook of our lives
So many pictures of dark pockets there
Probably a metaphor in that somewhere
If this is a joke, then why aren't you laughing?
If this is a joke, then I'm not literally dead
I'm close to panic all the time
All these shiny, grief-based fantasies
These Plathian glass figurines so lovingly maintained in ordered lines
Indulge the farmer in my brain, praying for rain
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2. |
ENDINGS AND BEGINDINGS
01:37
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3. |
REPEAT
01:11
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I don't like to repeat myself
I guess I have to do it again, again, again, again
I don't like to ask for help
Want to find my way back to it
I would like to believe myself
Perhaps I'll never listen again, again, again, again
I confess I do not know myself
So your confusion is forgiven
I'd like to believe it
I'd like to live like that
I'd like to believe that it's okay
I'd like to believe you
I'd like to be happy
I'd like to believe that it's okay
I'd like to believe it
I'd like to believe
But I don't
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4. |
UNQUESTIONABLE
01:18
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Lately (Always)
I am feeling confused (Call me and I'm there for you)
I know I want you though (I know)
No one else could ever do, so
Why (Soon is not true)
Does it so often seem (Then has been through)
Like I'm chasing something (Now is all)
I'll never find (You'll ever find)
It's here now
Baby (That's me)
I don't know what to do (Holding out my hand to you)
I know I want you though (I know)
That's an unquestionable truth, so
Why (Thoughts aren't real but)
Do I mope through the day (You still feel them)
Do I hope things away (Take my hand)
All that I need is here now
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5. |
A SPOT-ON IMPRESSION
01:18
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Give up is the order (Give up)
Give up is the question at hand (Give up)
The voice in my head does a spot-on impression
Like jazz out of misery
My free form depression says
Give up (Give up)
It says
Give up
But I don't play along, I am
Sick how I'm living
I poison my songs
See I thought I was one thing
I guess I was wrong, so I
Give up the illusion (Give up)
I'm used up
I was here all along and I'll be
I don't need to tell myself what I see
I already see
I don't need to tell myself I agree
Look, see and believe
That little voice in your head
Constantly whispering, whispering
If that's you, who's listening?
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6. |
BELOW THE BLUE
01:10
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I don't know
I know I love you
It's enough to be below the blue
I don't know
I know I love you
Though I don't know what to say
I could stay awhile
Anyway
Such words I'd say would all fly away
At the merest suggestion of a smile
I don't know
I know I love you
It's enough for me to know that's true
I don't know
I know I love you
I've no words you haven't heard before
Nothing is new
Below the blue
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7. |
LIGHT REFLECTING LIGHT
01:07
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There was a fog on the window
A maze in the hallway
There was a haze in my gaze
So thick I barely saw the light
I saw fog
Did not notice I saw
Clouds
Did not see them
Almost walked right past my life
And barely noticed it at all
A light reflects a light
It dreams itself into existence
As it sings in all our voices
Every song at the same time
Light reflects itself to life
Then burns itself alive forever
We are children of that sacrifice
Waiting our place in line
It is light
Reflecting light, reflecting light
Reflecting light, reflecting light
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8. |
HIDING THE FOOTPRINTS
01:13
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"I'm an artist at heart..."
Me, adjusting the contrast, recombining old patterns
Hiding the footprints
"I'm an artist at heart.."
Me, adjusting the typeface
She, the serif inside me gracing my consonants
"I'm an artist at heart..."
Me, selecting a preset, feeling sick as I do it
God, what a business
Apostrophe S
"Your" versus "you're"
"Mrs." and "Ms."
Just serving the sentence
"I'm an artist at heart..."
Me, adjusting the volume, recombining old show tunes
I guess art is a business
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9. |
BACKSIDE FACE OUT
02:44
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I took the picture down
Hung it backside face out
I'm not looking back at what I had, hoping this or that
I took your picture down
Put it back up backwards
I've got memories
I've got plenty
Far more than I need
I took the picture down
Hung it backside face out
I'm not looking back at what I had, nurturing the past
I took your picture down
Put the frame up empty
I know what I'd see
Just nobody staring back at me
I pray to the abyss
I honor the abyss
Send my love and blow a kiss to the darkness, darling
I honor the abyss
I lay with the abyss
Send my love and best wishes to the darkness, darling
I took your picture down
Hung it backside face out
I'm not looking back at what I had, hoping this or that
I took your picture down
Put the frame up empty
I know what I'd see
Just nobody staring back at me
I took your picture down
I took your picture down
I took your picture down
Hung it backside face out
I'm not looking back at what I had, hoping this or that
I took your picture down
Put the frame up empty
I know what I'd see
Just nobody staring back at me
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10. |
DAMNED
01:37
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I don't know how to stop
I can't or won't
These days, I'm damned if I do
Damned if I don't
I don't know what to say
So I won't
Anyway, I'm damned if I do
Damned if I don't
You know, in a roundabout way
You were right
Maybe I was casting out my line to nothing
If I decide to hurl this thing into the sky
You know and I know
You'd look up
This feels like an ending
Is that what this is?
It feels like I'm losing you
Is that what this is?
It's like I'm crunching the numbers and
Nothing adds up anymore
I don't know how to stop
I can't or won't
These days, I'm damned if I do
Damned if I don't
I don't know what to say
So I won't
Anyway, I'm damned if I do
Damned if I don't
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to say
Damned if I do
Damned if I don't
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